i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
