She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
