I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
