he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
