OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
