my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
This house was built for laser tag.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
