guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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