my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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