we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
