11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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