we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
His hands were made for my vagina.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
