I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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