I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I feel like abortions should bother me more
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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