Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
