Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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