Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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