She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
