My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
