This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
