What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
