non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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