you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
