I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
