Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
