I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
