Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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