I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
