Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
