Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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