I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
