Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
