If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
