they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
