im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
