i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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