I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
