omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
