She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
