He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
