i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
