I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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