Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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