My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I met the friendliest cop last night
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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