you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
