So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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