just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
