I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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