I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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