Where did you get a picture of my penis
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So much rum. So many feels.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
