How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
