how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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